Remember the first time we drew something on a paper, as far as our memory can tell, we went to our parents to show it. ‘Look Mumma’, ‘Papa dekho’ maine kya banaya ( Look Papa, see what I drew!) And in return our parents appreciated us, kissed us, hugged us and we knew we were loved. That and more is what I call a human need to be ‘seen’, to be witnessed by someone.
When we grew up, some of our childhood needs stayed as is. What is different is our expression of that need. We still want to be seen as significant, as loved unconditionally and hugged tightly for who we are, but that simple pen and paper is just not enough. In the absence of close relationships, the world becomes our audience. And we compete with 7 billion people for significance. Why should the world care for us? Day in and out we want to show the world, our success, our talent, how smart we are. We are scared that otherwise, we will not be loved. Of course, not everyone does it to the same degree. And in the process of showing the world who we are, there is a possibility of losing people who could be the very witnesses to our life. Our best friends, that we haven’t spoken to in weeks because our time zones do not match and we are too busy. Our mother who cannot understand our work any more because we never had the patience to take her along, and she still stands there asking us the very same questions, that to her, are the only way to show love, ‘the food questions.’ ‘Beta khana kha liya? ‘ ( Have you eaten son? ’) Sometimes a partner comes into our lives and begins to witness us. If we allow ourselves to stand still and be seen, those moments are the most cherished ones in anyone’s life. But then the anxiety seeps in and we are so scared to pause, to see,to be seen.
Work is meaningful, it is important and so is creativity. Most of us do not want to go back to the hunting gathering stage of civilisation. We all need progress. But these are vehicles our wisdom and awareness should drive. There are many of us who do not realise, that in between somewhere, we unconsciously board the bus of insecurity, a bus that we cannot steer. The bus that takes its own route, following the principles of an unaware aggregate, a route that appears safe but might just not be meant for us.
Most of us eventually want to go home,the one place where we are loved, are significant, are understood and truly ‘seen’. But following the wrong Gods, we may never reach home.
When we grew up, some of our childhood needs stayed as is. What is different is our expression of that need. We still want to be seen as significant, as loved unconditionally and hugged tightly for who we are, but that simple pen and paper is just not enough. In the absence of close relationships, the world becomes our audience. And we compete with 7 billion people for significance. Why should the world care for us? Day in and out we want to show the world, our success, our talent, how smart we are. We are scared that otherwise, we will not be loved. Of course, not everyone does it to the same degree. And in the process of showing the world who we are, there is a possibility of losing people who could be the very witnesses to our life. Our best friends, that we haven’t spoken to in weeks because our time zones do not match and we are too busy. Our mother who cannot understand our work any more because we never had the patience to take her along, and she still stands there asking us the very same questions, that to her, are the only way to show love, ‘the food questions.’ ‘Beta khana kha liya? ‘ ( Have you eaten son? ’) Sometimes a partner comes into our lives and begins to witness us. If we allow ourselves to stand still and be seen, those moments are the most cherished ones in anyone’s life. But then the anxiety seeps in and we are so scared to pause, to see,to be seen.
Work is meaningful, it is important and so is creativity. Most of us do not want to go back to the hunting gathering stage of civilisation. We all need progress. But these are vehicles our wisdom and awareness should drive. There are many of us who do not realise, that in between somewhere, we unconsciously board the bus of insecurity, a bus that we cannot steer. The bus that takes its own route, following the principles of an unaware aggregate, a route that appears safe but might just not be meant for us.
Most of us eventually want to go home,the one place where we are loved, are significant, are understood and truly ‘seen’. But following the wrong Gods, we may never reach home.
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